4 Tips to Manage Twins Alone as a Single Parent

Written by Kelly O'Lone

Published on October 15, 2024

• You can manage twins alone with a few helpful tips, including establishing routines and using technology to your advantage. 
• As a single parent, it’s essential to carve out time for yourself to avoid burnout and allow for self-care. 
• Don’t hesitate to contact family and friends if you need help or feel overwhelmed. 

I always joke that I was the perfect parent before I had kids. Why? Because I had no idea how hard it was to raise children. They keep us on our toes from the moment they enter this world.  

That stress is bound to increase if you’re taking care of twins alone as a single parent. You have no one to pass them off to for a moment so you can catch your breath. There’s no one to say, “Go to bed; I’ve got this.” 

I have fantastic news, though: You can do this. You can do hard things. (Even taking care of two kids by yourself!)

I’ve got you covered for tips on how to take care of twins alone. Between keeping consistent routines to sneaking in screen time to catch a break, you’ll feel like a pro in no time.

1. Establish Consistent Routines and Simplify Activities

I can never stress enough how vital consistent routines are for families. Routines help provide stability and predictability for children. 

According to the Early Childhood Learning & Knowledge Center¹1. The Importance of Schedules and Routines. ECLKC. 2024. https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/quienes-somos/articulo/importance-schedules-routines, routines help children: 

• Feel in control of their environment.
• Experience safety, security, and comfort.
• Understand what’s happening and what will come next.
• Know how to complete a task or do an activity.
• Engage in learning.

Need help figuring out where to start? Here are a few of my best tips for establishing consistent routines:

1. Don’t expect too much initially; allow your children time to adjust to their new routines. 
2. Be flexible—because life frequently gets in the way of the best-laid plans. 
3. Sync your twins’ schedule as much as possible to help the day go smoother. (Sleep training twins can make a massive difference in your schedule!)
4. Designate specific times for activities to help your twins know what to expect. 
5. Try your best to incorporate individual time with each twin, even if it’s short periods. 

2. Use Technology to Your Advantage

We all know our kids shouldn’t sit in front of screens all day (nor should we!). However, you can sometimes use technology to help make your life easier while following the recommended guidelines. 

For example, the American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry²2. Screen Time and Children. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. 2024. https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Watching-TV-054.aspx recommends that children aged 2–5 limit their daily screen time to one hour on weekdays and three hours on the weekend. 

The good news is there’s plenty of kid-appropriate content available, so you don’t have to feel bad handing over a device to your twins. Between educational television shows (Hi, Ms. Rachel!) and apps that encourage learning, you can feel good about letting your twins indulge in some screen time. 

Some of my favorite educational apps are:

• ABC Mouse 
• Khan Academy Kids 
• ScratchJr
• PBS Kids Games

Using technology to your advantage doesn’t always mean letting your children watch TV or play on a device. It also means utilizing baby monitors or GPS trackers for safety and peace of mind. For example, if your twins are older, you may get them a smartwatch so you can keep an eye on them while they ride their bikes. 

On the other hand, if you have little ones, you may want to set up a baby monitor in the playroom while you’re working or making dinner. 

Remember, there are different types of parenting styles, so do what works best for you and your twins. 

3. Enlist Help from Family and Friends

If you have family nearby (and a good relationship!), don’t hesitate to reach out for help. While I have family close now, there was a time when I was on the opposite side of the country from them, and it was tough. That was when I knew I needed to expand my social network of friends. 

I immediately joined a mom’s group when I moved to a new city. I knew my kids needed others to play with, and I benefited from the adult interaction, which helped me avoid mom burnout. It was a win-win. 

Don’t forget the benefits of arranging playdates, which are also great for socializing. I recommend looking on Facebook for mom groups in your area or checking out one of the organizations below:

• MOMS Club 
• The Mom Co
• Meetup
• Multiples of America 

You might also consider setting up a babysitting swap group with some friends who could also use the help. 

4. Take Time for Self-Care

It may sound counterintuitive to say you need to take time for self-care while raising twins alone, but it’s vital to maintaining your sanity. You have a lot on your plate now; that’s no secret. However, if you don’t care for yourself, you can’t take care of your twins. 

How can you manage self-care when you’re a single parent? While it seems like a million-dollar question, it’s feasible to carve out a specific time during the day when you allow yourself to do what you want. 

For example, if your twins are napping and the laundry is piled up, leave it. Repeat after me: It can wait. Instead, do something for yourself, and I don’t mean shower. I’ve heard people say showering counts as self-care, and I disagree; you should do it for your hygiene, but I don’t think it will relieve stress. 

Here are a few self-care ideas when you’re solo parenting twins and can’t get out of the house:

• Sit back and binge-watch your favorite show. 
• Give yourself a pedicure and manicure (while watching your favorite show!). 
• Call your best friend and chat like you’re teens again. 
• Indulge in your favorite hobby. (Crochet, anyone?)
• Workout or don’t! If you’re not feeling like exercising, you probably need a rest day.

FAQs 

How can single parents maintain personal relationships while managing the demands of twins?

It’s natural to want to date or hang out with friends as a single parent, but how do you find the time? This is an excellent opportunity to ask family or friends to help watch your children. If it doesn’t break the bank, consider a sitter occasionally. 

I also recommend considering quality over quantity by ensuring you spend time with people who are meaningful to you. 

Are there any specific grants or financial supports available for single parents of twins in education?

If your child is still in elementary or high school, you should contact the school for specific grant and financial support information. You should also check your state’s guidelines to see what you qualify for. 

However, for older children, completing the Free Application for Federal Student Aid³3. FAFSA Form. Federal Student Aid. https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa (FAFSA), which awards grants, scholarships, and loans, is your best bet for financial support for college. How much you receive from FAFSA will depend on your financial situation, including assets and income.

You’ll want to ensure you deal with an accredited organization, avoiding potential scams. 

References

1. The Importance of Schedules and Routines. ECLKC. (2024, July 23). https://eclkc.ohs.acf.hhs.gov/quienes-somos/articulo/importance-schedules-routines
2. Screen Time and Children. The American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry. (2024, May). https://www.aacap.org/AACAP/Families_and_Youth/Facts_for_Families/FFF-Guide/Children-And-Watching-TV-054.aspx
3. FAFSA Form. Federal Student Aid. (n.d.). https://studentaid.gov/h/apply-for-aid/fafsa