5 Tips for Dining Out with Children Who Have Sensory Sensitivities

Written by Ilona Bannister

Published on September 3, 2024

• Children with sensory sensitivity can enjoy family time at restaurants if you plan, do your research, and prepare in advance. 
• Choosing the right venue, bringing a sensory kit, communicating with staff, and having a waiting and exit strategy can help manage everyone’s stress. 
• Helping your child learn to manage their sensory sensitivity is a process, and dining out as a family can be a helpful and enjoyable learning experience. 
• If your child has reached their limit, it’s okay to leave no matter what stage of the meal you’ve reached. 

Going to a restaurant with your family may sound like a great idea in theory. You get a break from meal prep and clean-up, and your kids try new foods or order their favorites as a treat. A restaurant meal can be celebratory, fun, social, and a nice way to spend time away from screens and talking as a family. 

However, as all parents know, restaurants can be a stressful place for any family with children. Kids often get overwhelmed in restaurants, and a fun outing can quickly turn into a tantrum-filled disaster. 

For children with sensory sensitivities due to ADHD, autism, anxiety, or sensory processing disorder, restaurants can be some of the most challenging environments to navigate.

The crowds, noise, music, smells, and wait times—plus unfamiliar foods, textures, and people—can be overstimulating and exhausting for a child with sensory sensitivity. It can even trigger sensory meltdown. 

This doesn’t mean that your sensory-sensitive child can never enjoy going to a restaurant with the family or that your family should just stay home instead of trying a new experience. 

With planning, communication, and some trusty tools, dining out with sensory sensitivities can be a fun experience for the whole family and a confidence-building experience for your child.

1. Choose the Right Restaurant 

The key to making your restaurant experience less stressful and more enjoyable for you and your child is to think about the environment that will best suit their needs. Choose a restaurant where you will all be comfortable. 

Choose a restaurant that: 

• Serves food familiar to your child that they’ll enjoy. 
• Has booths for quieter seating or enough space between tables and comfortable seating. 
• Has a patio, outdoor space, large bathroom, or other area where your child can take a sensory break. 
• Is known for fast service. 
• Plays calm background music or none at all. 
• Has low or calming lighting instead of bright overhead fluorescent lights. 

Do your research and read reviews to find out if the environment is sensory-friendly, relatively calm, and relaxed rather than chaotic and noisy.

It may help to call ahead of time to find out the restaurant’s off-peak hours when it’s less busy, which may suit your child better. 

Also, bringing your child to the restaurant when they’re hungry can make it more enjoyable and engaging for them. 

Finally, communicate with the restaurant staff beforehand and when you arrive to let them know what you and your child will need. 

2. Bring Comfort Items or a Sensory Kit

Packing a sensory kit or bag with items that comfort your child and will keep them distracted and occupied can help them stay calm and feel secure in the new environment. 

Consider bringing the following: 

• Fidget toys or devices that help your child stay calm
• Comfort items that make them feel safe and secure, like a cuddly toy
• Headphones to reduce noise
• Sunglasses if they are bothered by bright lights
• Small toys, books, puzzles, or coloring activities to keep them occupied and focused on something other than the busy environment 
• A weighted lap-pad if they use one

Allow your child to choose what they take so they’re part of the decision-making and to help them prepare for the experience. 

3. Manage Waiting Times

A long wait in a busy restaurant, especially in a cramped entryway with lots of impatient people, can be stressful for parents and anxiety-inducing for children with sensory sensitivity. 

Waiting—to be seated, order, receive your food, or get the bill—is a big part of dining out. Minimize wait times for your family by planning ahead: 

• Make reservations whenever possible so you don’t have to wait for your table. 
• Order online if that’s an option so your meals are waiting for you when you arrive.  
• Avoid going to restaurants at peak times. 
• Ask for the check when your entree arrives to avoid waiting later. 
• If there is a wait for your table, ask the staff if you can wait outside or in a quieter, less crowded space. 
• Bring books, games, tablets, and other activities that will keep your kids busy while waiting. 

It may also be helpful to talk to your child ahead of time and explain that waiting is part of the experience so that they can manage their expectations. 

Ask them what they would like to bring along with them in case they have to wait to reduce their frustration and anxiety in case the waits are longer than expected. 

4. Don’t Be Afraid to Make Requests When You Get There

Troubleshooting potential hypersensitivity triggers when you get to the restaurant is a good idea. Even when you’ve done your research, the actual environment may be different than your expectations when you arrive, so it’s important to stay adaptable and flexible. 

More and more public venues like restaurants, movie theaters, and museums are training staff to be aware of neurodivergence and sensory sensitivity and to make their spaces more inclusive. 

If you can tell that the environment may lead to sensory overload, communicate with the staff to ask for what you need. 

Consider making the following requests if you need to: 

• Ask to be seated away from the kitchen to avoid noise, smells, and activity. 
• Ask to be seated away from the bathrooms to avoid foot traffic near your table. 
• Ask to be seated in a space with lower or softer lighting. 
• Ask for music or TV volume to be reduced or shut off. 

5. Have an Exit Strategy 

Even with planning and preparation, the restaurant experience can still be overwhelming for a child with sensory sensitivity and could even lead to a sensory meltdown. 

If you are seeing signs from your child that they need to go, Rae Jacobson of the Child Mind Institute¹1. Jacobson, R.. Tips for Going Places With Sensory-Challenged Kids. Child Mind Institute. 2023. https://childmind.org/article/tips-for-going-places-with-sensory-challenged-kids advises that you don’t wait to leave: “Remember, the goal is to help [your child] recognize his sensory limits and learn to gradually expand them. Pushing him past his breaking point might lead to meltdowns and make him feel more anxious about your next outing, not less.” 

Making everyone in the family aware of your exit strategy before you go to the restaurant can help reduce stress if a sensory meltdown approaches. Before you start your dining experience, decide on a family signal, like a wave or an exit word that lets everyone know when it’s time to go. 

Also, giving your child lots of warning in advance of your outing can help. The Marcus Autism Center²2. Tips for Dining Out. Marcus Autism Center. https://www.marcus.org/autism-resources/autism-tips-and-resources/tips-for-dining-out suggests practicing restaurant dining at home with menus to model what it will be like and talking about the experience with your child. 

Showing them pictures of the restaurant online, letting them see the menu, explaining your plans and how long you think things will take can help reduce their anxiety by letting them know what to expect. 

Finally, make sure that praise and positive reinforcement are also a part of your exit plan. Whether your child manages only a few minutes or an entire three-course meal, let them know that you are proud that they have challenged themselves. 

References

1. Jacobson, R. (2023, October 30). Tips for Going Places With Sensory-Challenged Kids. Child Mind Institute. https://childmind.org/article/tips-for-going-places-with-sensory-challenged-kids
2. Tips for Dining Out. Marcus Autism Center. (n.d.). https://www.marcus.org/autism-resources/autism-tips-and-resources/tips-for-dining-out